Recently I have been reading a biography on Marilyn Monroe. As I have read this, book I have seen many similarities between my life and her life..... and it scares me! For example, she attended many parties to help further her career. The party attenders were famous directors, writers, producers, and etc. Well at these parties a woman would expect to fall into bed with at least one guy!! Seriously?? WTF? She may become attached to a guy who escorts her to these parties and gives her protection against the male herd but the minute that protection ends, the animals are let out of there cages to corner the "doe".
However, to say that they were in a relationship was far from correct. They were not. She was referred to as "blank's (insert name of man) girl". There was no commitment in these "thing". I don't have a better word for it. The guy could go home with another woman and "loan" his girl to a friend. For those who don't know what loan means, to allow someone to borrow something on the condition of being returned. Like a library book. Ever notice that you never return a library in the same condition as when you first picked it up?
How does this relate to my life? Two simple words....
Singles Ward. A phrase that creates a mixture of emotions in my stomach. The first is a feeling of wanting to hide under the covers, followed by an intense desire to scream, and lastly "how long do I have to do this?" Overall I like my singles ward but due to the nature of sarcasm, my sister and I call my singles ward
"The Meat Market". Girls spend hours doing their makeup, hair, and finding the appropriate outfit that hides those extra 5 pounds. All of the prep is for the first 10 seconds you enter the church building. Within these 10 seconds you have been evaluated and given a
grade.
Many things go into your grade:
• Maturity: YSA standards 18-20 years old
• Ability to giggle incessantly at a lame joke.... it really wasn't that funny
• Flattery. Many times false flattery. Refer to previous statement
• Freshness. What are my odds of getting some? I call you a floozy.
• Fat % to overall body. Oh don't worry. I had a gust of wind earlier.
Just like Marilyn, we primp and dress ourselves in a manner to attract the highest bidder.
Personally, if I hear one more giggle or "OMG you work at (insert any stupid job that is not going anywhere), that is so awesome!" from a Grade 1 I'm gonna hurl...in her ugly purse. Just stop!! He is not that funny, the joke was actually an insult but you won't get that, and no its not cool that he works at (blank). He is lazy and needs to go to school.
Finally, the phrase I hate the most. "No harm in playing the field", yes there is harm but it doesn't hurt you so it doesn't matter, right? Poor, pathetic little boy who is stuck in the Minors. This little phrase is used by the male population to justify his dating multiple girls with no strings attached. It allows him to put them on ice for a while and bring them out at his convenience. He doesn't have a relationship with the girl but a "thing"! For those who use this phrase, here is a question for you "In any sport, who plays on the field?" the
PLAYERS do!!! You may ask yourself what constitutes a player, exactly what does he do? He is very skilled at making girls believe he cares for them. Some sites state he is a manipulator of women (whether its true or not, makes me laugh). Has a trail of broken hearts following him. Also I do not limit the term "player" solely for men; there are many women who are players too. To all players, young and old, male and female; continue to play the game and you will miss out on the one that can only be caught outside of the fence. In the field behind the bases, behind the goal, and may then be picked up by a person who saw its worth the first time.
PS Some may not like the sarcasm used or the observations made but I am ok with that. I making what I see around me funny. Afterall I am studying Anthropology......
Singles wards are quite the hodgpodge of activity. Things change every minute. One of my favorite things to observe during Sacrament Meeting is who is sitting by who. Because as you all know, if a guy is sitting next to a girl they must dating. HAHA! There are a few particular girls who seem to jump from one guy to the next weekly. On Sunday she will be sitting with one guy we will name Jason and the next sunday she will sit next to Brent. Then she will switch during Sunday School and sit next to the other one as the previous chair buddy watches her every move like a hawk. Come on guys!! Can't you see that she is just playing you off of each other. She is seeing the reactions she can generate out of the two of you. Personally, musical chairs is not my favorite game. Someone always gets hurts. 