The doctor's office is my second-least favorite place to go. The dentist office tops the list. Doctor's offices are a place with millions of bacterial and viral cells. Its the Mecca of sick people. As I sat there waiting,which is all you ever do, I saw the little kid corner full of toys. It had a sign saying "Kid Square". The sign should have said "put your sick child here so they can mix their germs with Jimmy's germs". Anywho, I went to the doctor's office because of a lump that appeared behind my left ear a couple days ago. Now being like any other child of the computer generation, I Googled "lump behind ear". Tons of links popped up that said it could be a cyst, swollen lymph node, or a tumor. Now being my dramatic self where health is concerned. I immediately freaked that it could be a tumor. Here is why: when I was 16, I was in and out of doctor offices and hospitals due to non-stop migraines. Sure the majority of the population gets headaches. You take an Excedrin or Tylenol and poof its gone. Well in my case I was having one continous migraine. I couldn't take drugs because I had allergic reactions to them and they also made the headache worse. Specialists checked me for anything, blood samples were taken, cat scans, MRIs, and others. Finally ended up at Primary Children's and they admited me. I was strapped to a machine that would pump medicine into my body every couple of hours. The medicine burned and I remember screaming in pain for hours. However, it worked. My headaches didn't disappear but took them from a 10 to a 5 which was heaven for me. I still have the headaches but I deal. If they get to a 10 again, its back into the hospital. Anywho, after that I always am nervous with things that could be signs of some serious sickness that result in headaches because I always have them so they aren't a good measure for disease. So I always go to the doctor just in case. And that's what I did. When I arrived I paid my copay and was informed that I would be seeing their nurse practitioner. They gave me a receipt and I saw the name of the nurse I would be seen by. Some colorfol language went through my head. My ex-fiance's mom was the nurse. At this point I am freaking a bit... ok alot. I was engaged 3 years ago. Ended messy. Words were said on both sides...blah blah blah. His parents never liked me. So I'm sitting in the waiting room consider whether to take off out the front door and never look back but what if I have a tumor? My angel and devil are arguing when I hear my name called. I really dislike standing on the scale for my weight to be written in a folder I have no control over. The asst. takes my blood pressure and says that it is low....Low! How can it be low?! My heart is beating 5,000x per minute. Like facing a firing squad beating. Then comes the sitting in the little room for who knows how long. I notice there is a window. I checked to see if it opens. No. Escape plan busted. Crap. I think of Thomas the Train, "I can do this. I can do this. I don't want to do this." The door opens and the woman who was almost my mother-in-law steps in. She asks me how I am, what I am studying in school, and other questions about the lump. I am fearful if she asks if I am married yet. Her son is w/ 2 kids. I decide that if she asks I am making up some successful lawyer/doctor boyfriend named Mark. He has blue eyes. However, Mark did not need to make an appearance. Well I don't have a tumor, I'm not dying, but my ear is numb from her trying to drain the lump. Next priority, find new doctor's office. Preferably one with a sexy, young, single doctor. I like the plan.
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